Astrology is not a system of predicting events, but rather predicting conditions and revealing the cycles that affect everyone at one time or another. Here is a look at the cycles that are headed your way:

The "Life's a Party" cycle is brought to you by big wide wonderful Jupiter. The good news is that about every twelve years, Jupiter pays a call on you and brings all the good things with him. The better news is that about every four years Jupiter checks back in and waves his magic wand over you and makes sure you're living the good life. The Jupiter cycle is proof positive that "The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow" and it's impossible to have too much of a good thing. The Jupiter cycles at ages 24, 36, 48, and 60 are excellent times for starting out on new ventures.

The "Pay the Fiddler" cycle is imposed by the mean, lean, karma machine, Saturn. What goes around comes around every 28 years. Think of those Saturnine rings as barbed wire fencing you in the cosmic classroom until you get it right. Work hard enough and Saturn will grudgingly grant you success, but not without a fair share of editorializing that you shoulda done it this way, or you shoulda done it that way. The Saturn Returns at ages 28 and 56 are the coming of age cycles that are truly the payoff or pay up in terms of your Universal Debt. But wait, it's not just at age 28 or 56 you get to deal with Saturn. He comes marching through your life about every 7 years bringing everybody's favorite pastime: the reality check.

The "Divine Discontent" cycle bursts on the scene thanks to that unconventional livewire Uranus. Discovered at the end of the 18th century, Uranus ushered in the age of revolution and he does no less on a personal level. There you are, all comfy cozy in that nifty rut you've dug for yourself. But wait, what's that light in the distance and that low rumble? In a split second you realize that your rut is in the middle of the train tracks and the train just pulled out from the station. The resulting adrenaline rush doesn't leave much time for the wide eyed "caught in the headlights" Bambi stare. When Uranus starts sweeping across your personal life stage with the 4 billion watt search light, not much will go unnoticed. Once your eyes adjust to the light, you see things clearly and it dawns on you that, "some things have gotta change around here!" But try to use a little practicality because this is definitely where the phrase, "don't throw the baby out with the bath water!" came from. Uranus plays havoc in your life at ages 21, 42, 63 and 84.

The "Rose Colored Glasses" cycle sneaks up courtesy of that ethereal ball of gas: Neptune. Neptune is the master of smoke and mirrors. It's the mirage in the desert and king of delusion, self-deception and oh yes, vision, faith, and spirituality. Remember in Star Wars when Darth Vader cut down Obiwan and only clothing fell to the floor? When Neptune comes to call don't be surprised to find yourself jousting with thin air and waking up to find yourself out, way out, on a limb. Why? because Neptune makes us believe that pigs can fly and so can we! So how do you successfully navigate the uncharted mists of Neptune-land? Well, keeping a good supply of Capricorn friends who can remind you of the little things (like the law of gravity) is a good start. This is not a good time to launch major projects or to turn your life upside down. But it's a good time to dream. Just sit back, relax, and watch the show. Oh, and if anyone approaches you with a "pyramid" scheme... run, run like the wind. The Neptune fog rolls into your life at ages 42 and 84.

The "Ship Hits the Rocks" cycle is brought to you by the planet from the dark side: Pluto. Like it or not -- BAD THINGS HAPPEN. No matter how many times you take vitamins, turn off the iron, buckle your seatbelts or recycle, things run amuck and you can end up losing everything, except your soul. Oh no, Pluto will never kill you outright, but get ready for death on other fronts: perhaps the death of a career, a marriage, your stock portfolio. The good news is that if you know Pluto is headed your way, you can do some prep work, like playing a subliminal tape that reassures you that complete, radical, chaotic change in your life is a good thing! The bad news is that you'll probably forget this as you are standing at the edge of the sinkhole that was once your life. But cheer up, sometimes, the only way to change is to be dragged through the mud. So how do you really manage a Pluto occupation? Well, accept the reality that the only thing you can count on is change, oh yeah and that other stuff about death and taxes. In 10 years you will most likely consider what's happening now to be for the best in the long run. This is definitely where the phrase "hindsight is 20/20" came from. Pluto's cycle is not as exact as the other planets -- it can plow through your life anywhere from age 35 to age 60.

Okay, admit it, some of you have been doing some math in your head and perhaps realized that some of these cycles occur together. Bingo! The trick to cycles, is recognizing when to "buy low, sell high" and ride the wave. Other than throwing up your hands and beseeching the heavens for "a sign" what are your options? Well, you can go down to your local bookstore and pick up about twenty Astrology books and spend a Sunday afternoon trying to make sense of the whole thing. About an hour into it you'll understand why I think most mass market Astrology books should have a Cosmic General's warning: "Caution: Do Not Try This at Home." Now don't get me wrong, if you really want to study Astrology, go for it. But trying to figure out your own chart and cycles on a Sunday afternoon is about as direct as reading Gray's Anatomy when you've broken your arm. The other option is to go to a real live astrologer. Chances are you'll walk away with a better understanding of your self, your potential, and what's on the horizon. Plus, you'll probably have a good take on your teenager and maybe even a list of good times to rollover that IRA and when to mail your tax return to avoid an audit. All in all, a trip to an Astrologer can be a profitable investment. Like reading the Wall Street Journal or checking out The Weather Channel, Astrology can clue you into the major cycles affecting your life. And just like with any source of information - forewarned is forearmed!

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